So. Wal-Mart had to order my prescription, it takes a week to come in. Not the start I was hoping for because it's put this excuse in my head not to start until I get it. Lame. I know. So...I haven't exactly started low carb yet. Each morning I get up I intend to stick to it but I haven't.
My husband got rear-ended the other day. The car was totaled. We were going to replace it in a few years. We really didn't want to replace it this year. We're only getting $4300 for it, and my husband won't buy an older car so we are dipping into savings to buy a new one in a few weeks. He's not told me if I'm getting the car or if he's getting the car. I really like my Cruz now and I've only had it for 10 months and I offered for him to take it when we bought it and he didn't so I will admit unless he gets me a green car I'll be pissed if he chooses to take my Cruz.
Talk of budgets gets me super stressed. I don't work, and while staying at home means we're not paying childcare and I actually see my daughter that doesn't mean that I don't wish I had more/better skills that allowed me to work and bring in an income for my family. I will forever regret the day I did not go to college. Certainly there were a lot of factors that went into that, which would be too long of a story to post fully here, but I will always regret it. I don't want to go back to retail. I'm not really fond of how massage therapy turned out for me. I'm really scared and upset over the idea of finding work again. It's scary and of course this car business has me thinking about it.
This stress brings in the food. Food makes me feel happy for all 2.7 seconds I'm eating it. So I baked a small batch of cookies today. I knew I shouldn't have. I thought about it the whole time I was doing it. I did it anyway. My daughter got three out of 12. I ate the rest.
I threw out the flour. This way I cannot bake cookies. Because when I want food to make me happy I will in fact, go out of my way for it. I may have also gotten into the leftover Halloween candy in my husbands desk drawer. He puts it down there so I don't have access to it and he doesn't lock it. It has a lock. He should lock it. Because I know that's where it is and chocolate makes me feel happy. For all 2.7 seconds.
I worked out twice earlier this week, been to ninjutsu once. I have to miss ninjutsu tomorrow because Nick has to get together with his class group for their group project. I'm supposed to go two days a week and I missed three weeks because I was sick and got to go just one this week. I am not at all happy with my lack of progress at this point. I knew it would take me longer to learn things, my body doesn't move together well, but missing classes is really depressing to me. I want to learn and advance and I haven't even earned my first stripe yet. You get a stripe when you test on a lesson you need to know for your next belt test. I've been going like two months and have not gotten it. *insert super sad face here*
ON A PLUS NOTE: I found out there's this super cool Japanese mini mall-ish place called Mitsuwa Marketplace. I am hoping they may have some cute onigiri molds (I want a cat one for Lilly) and they have awesome ramen restaurants for Nick and a bakery that looks delicious and of course a grocery story. But it's an hour away so we haven't gotten to go yet. An hour in the burbs really isn't horrible but it's not ideal with an unpredictable toddler.
My anime watching has increased. It does help stress. I also found japanesepod101.com and their youtube channel. They have super awesome videos that are easy to follow for learning Japanese. Because we use Japanese terms in ninjutsu and because I watch a lot of anime I have watched several and plan to actually pick some language and writing up. It's my current interest and I always throw myself at my interests so this is no surprise.
I have not drawn much. My colored pencils, while a good brand, keep breaking when I sharpen so it just gets frustrating instead of being relaxing. I need to learn to be happy with black and white drawings and learn how to shade like they would in a manga, since most manga are black and white.
And that is where I am at. I managed to wash and fold ALL THE LAUNDRY. Which is amazing It really is, but I have a good bit of dishes to do. Yuck. The constant badgering of making beds, doing dishes, and helping fold laundry as a kid did nothing for me, in fact, I think they made me really detest those chores.
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